Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Vegetable and Fruit Carving for Dummies

     I like to think that part of what makes this blog entertaining is that I am so passionate about helping my chef that I will research and do whatever I can to help him succeed.
     One of these times was when he was an executive chef at a fine dining establishment. He was getting tired of the garnishes used on his dishes and asked me to look for something new. I have made some pretty impressive veg crudite platters that looked like a large fish scales and all so I was feeling pretty confident.  After my kids went to bed that evening I Googled veggie carving and watched videos on Youtube about how to make cucumber designs, tomato and carrot flowers among other creations.  It was midsummer which meant every produce you could think of was available at my local farmers market.  So I stocked up my fridge which looked like I was feeding a vegetarian convention for 50.
Mistake number one, I realize now, I was using dull knives.  Mistake number 2, I think my tomatoes were a little over ripe as my peel kept breaking.  In the end I ended up with enough garnishes to fill one small monkey dish.  If you don't know what a monkey dish is, look it up, it's small. I would compare it to the size of a feeding bowl for a hamster.  If there is one thing I can't stand is wasting food. It drives me nuts when I make dinner for they boys and they sit down with the appetites of children who haven't been fed since they were weaned off of the bottle then, after two bites they are "full" or feeling "sick". Keep in mind they aren't being fed liver and onions but things we love as a family.  So back to the last thought... after hours of practicing on these veggies, I consumed three tomatoes, five carrots, two cucumber 5 stalks of celery and two apples. Why not wrap and store them you ask. Salad doesn't do well in my fridge. For some reason veggies and fruits would rather die than sit in my fridge for the next meal. 
     After all of this love I put into my research my darling chef came home to tell me he shocked green onions to create some curly looking green octopus thing to put on food.  Needless to say I haven't carved veg or fruit ever again.  However if you are interested in food carving check out Youtube for some great videos. Even if they aren't in English visually they are very informative.

Monday, July 30, 2012

How much was our groceries?!

     When food shopping with a chef it does not take much time before your chef can rack up the family food bill to as much as $500.  The following precautionary measures can be taken to prevent you from losing your car payment to your fridge. As much as food is important menu planning is essential.
     When planning for the week All You magazine has it right when they suggest that you plans meals that use the same ingredients so you aren't using two tablespoons of tahini paste and then are stuck with a 16oz jar that goes nasty in a week or so. Your chef will notice this. When they mention it act dumb, praise them for noticing and remark about how quick prep work will be throughout the week. Otherwise, they might get bored by their dinner choices, if you are lucky enough to have your chef home for dinner.  Analyze the weekly circulars I never have coupons for what I need because I almost always by store brand or cheaper.  Never underestimate clearance bread, it can be frozen. If it isn't on sale, you don't need it!
   Do not go food shopping with hungry kids or a hungry chef, you might as well sell your car right then and there. A hungry chef will doom your food bill within the first five steps into the bakery section.
   Do not go food shopping right after watching a show on food network. Chefs call it inspiration, I call it strategic marketing.  Of course I want a nice beef wellington but that's not necessarily on my list, my cell phone bill told me so.
    Never underestimate a good seasoning and what it can do for your meal! If you have an arsenal of herbs and spices in your kitchen the options are limitless. You won't find yourself having to buy special sauces, marinades or pre-seasoned kits. They are not as cost effective as they might appear and chefs are suckers for fast, easy and that don't require much brain power.  They need to save that for their kitchens.
     Look through your cupboards before you go shopping! The best thing your chef can teach you is SUBSTITUTION.  No panko or regular bread crumbs or bread for that matter to toast? My kids went nuts when I made chicken tenders using graham crackers from our camp trip and Cheerios dipped in maple syrup and mustard. Just call it "special coating".
     These tips are a great start and you MUST praise your chef during cash out saying that you could never have saved so much if they weren't with you contributing all of their great knowledge and expertise. Trust me it works!!
     However I must warn you.... even if this works most of the time there will be a shopping trip where you might have to give in and sacrifice your next hair cut or week of lattes to make them happy. But hey that's okay because you'll have a week of great meals!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Paula Deen, My 5 1/2 Year Old's Girlfriend

Okay here's the interesting thing about being the wife of a chef.  My oldest of two boys LOVES Paula Deen. So much that one day out of the blue he told my mother that Paula Deen is his girlfriend. So he started watching our Paula Deen dvd's as she is one of my personal favorite chefs.  Then he wanted to make her recipes.  This infatuation continued with me going to the library and requesting Paula Deen videos from other libraries. You have never seen a kid scream like my boy when one of her shows come on my parent's t.v. He can even imitate the way she says tomato pie. This is no word of a lie or exaggeration!  Mother's Day this year was celebrated with cake and coffee. The cake my mother brought over was none other than Paula Deen's Hummingbird Cake from the local grocery store.  When cutting into it my son noticed Paula Deen's face on the packaging and pronounced that Paula Deen had made the cake just for him.  After our Mother's Days gifts were exchanged he began to make a card for her.  Try finding an address that you hope would get to a celebrity chef. If any of you know one PLEASE let me know. His love and loyalty continues when occasionally we can find an episode of Paula's Party. Most recently at dinner one time my husband and I were discussing Anthony Bourdain's bashing of Paula Deen and how it didn't surprise us that he would say such a thing and my son... groans loudly and says "Paula Deen is going to be mad at me"  Needless to say all conversation at the dinner table stopped at we looked at our son with confused faces and asked, "Why?"  To which he responds " I didn't send her a Mother's Day card."  Try being a parent and holding it together without cracking up in a moment like this.  So I am holding on to a Mother's Day card for Paula Deen with mom's son's favorite character that he loves to draw on it, a hairy alien.  Sebastian has been cooking with his chef daddy since he was two. Obviously small tasks that are age appropriate but this boy has decided he wants to be a baker when he grows up. The apple does not fall far from the apple pie.  

Okay today is 8/23/2012 and Seb starts Kindergarten this coming Tuesday. He has informed me he wants to make Paula Deen's Stick to the Roof of Your Mouth Cookies for his class. He also told me on the way home that we should probably go visit Paula Deen because he is SURE that she misses him.  This is when it gets hard.

You might be the wife of a chef if...

You might be the wife of a chef if...

...you tell your children if they don't behave you will 86 dessert

...you know your chef's kitchen staff by name and reputation but not by face

...your close group of friends include a baker, chef, kitchen manager, restaurant owner, bartender, server, dishwasher, food purveyor, florist, dj, musician, caterer, limo driver, sommelier, justice of the piece, event coordinator and travel agent

...when talking to friends who want to book an event you whip out your cell phone and scroll through your 200 contacts

...a date with your chef includes them disappearing into the kitchen for the tour while you are left in the dining room smiling at the other guests.

...when you go out to eat you act like you are a food critic (you also have a small notebook in your purse because you secretly wish someone would ask you to be a food critic)

...your children know what Duck Con Fit is even if they pronounce it Duck Cone Feet

...you know your chef will take at least 3 more hours for them to come home when they say "We're just cleaning up now"

...you give your chef's food purveyor the shopping list for your Christmas Even Buffet. Who wants to stand in those long lines at the grocery store anyway!

...you have ever had to load 100lbs of linens in your small car, with your children in their car seats, to deliver them to your chef who is having an event in a half hour

...your children have stuffed animals, hats and t-shirts from every restaurant, boat or hotel within a 100 mile radius of your house (your children are also on a first name basis with each of the owners)

...you order out the only night your chef is home

...you have to question the traditional resume format because your chef can't hand the potential employer a 20 page packet

...you can succesfully work in your own chef's kitchen from dishwasher to prep cook

...you read as many biographies of other chefs that you can to better understand your own chef (My personal choice was Gordon Ramsay's autobiography)

...you know why specials are really made at a restaurant and think twice before ordering them

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

What do you do? I'm a chef's wife!

     I'm a chef's wife and what does that entail? You reschedule holidays so that even if the world is celebrating Christmas on the same day, you may have it just before New Year which means you'll be lucky if you celebrate New Year's before February 14.  Am I complaining? I did that the first three years of marriage to my chef and then got used to it and found ways of dealing with it. As a chef's wife you have to reassure your chef that it is okay and that a holiday isn't a holiday unless you are all together no matter what day that may be.
     Sometimes you inadvertently find yourself with a second job you never asked for. I have been a bartender, server, hostess and prep cook at many of the establishments my husband has worked at. So after I worked a full day at my regular job I would don my black and whites and sometimes do dishes for the rest of the night. I think I may have gotten to the point where I won't have to do that anymore but who knows. My first memory of prep cooking was being in tears out the back door of a kitchen after having worked 16 hours and couldn't stand on my feet any more. These adventures in the culinary industry, I think, make me tougher than before.
     The thing I can't get over however is the job jumping. Is it an industry norm? I don't know yet. I am still trying to figure that out.
    If you think you will receive gourmet meals marrying a chef? Think again. When they are home rarely do they cook unless they have two days off back to back.
     On the plus side you become their closest adviser, research assistant, secretary and negotiator. Chefs who have a passion for cooking don't know what they are worth. So despite their arrogance they will work for peanuts just to be able to save a restaurant from closing its doors forever. What are they seeking?  Despite their arrogance I think they are the most self conscious people I know. Even though their food can make a five star restaurant look like McDonald's they are always afraid that someone will not like what they have prepared.  So if you are a chef's wife or just interested in hearing about how my husband nearly severed his wedding ring finger three months before our wedding.... Stay tuned.
  ~ Nina