How to have a long marraige to a chef

     So, after seeing some posts on the married to a chef facebook page I got to thinking. Someone just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary. For someone who is attached to a chef, it is not as glamorous as having your own personal chef.  I know some people would argue with me but there are many times that I think being married to a chef is more difficult than being married to a 9-5er.  If you are part of this club, you can have a laundry list of things you go through that no other "normal" marriages would. It got me thinking so much, that I thought I would do some research on chef marriages and find some good words of advice. It was not easy! You Google "chefs and marriage," and what you come up with is affairs or chefs cooking for a marriage equality event. No wonder it's so hard to find support!  Kerilyn Russo's site, Marriedtoachef.com came up quite often too. ;) But, there are many of us that love being married to a chef and face it head on every day because every day is different, a new adventure. We NEVER get bored being married to a chef!
     The marriage that popped into my head was the marriage of Julia and Paul Child.  I found out so much reading about them. They could laugh together at an elaborate dinner that had love poured into it but turned out less than appetizing. They created their own traditions. Since they couldn't get things together in time to send Christmas cards, they sent their spectacular Valentine's Day cards. How many of us have to celebrate holidays on another day? They knew that holidays in the food industry are not normally for celebrating with family. We all go through this, yet they accepted it. They supported each other in what they loved most. It wasn't a one sided relationship. Sometimes, as spouses of chefs we pour ourselves into our chefs' careers. We can't forget ourselves.  They want us to succeed just as much as we help them to.  Paul's journal was a form of reflection. We should reflect on the achievements we have made over the time we have been married.  Small victories add up to big things over time. How many of you have a chef who, in the beginning, was figthing for a job even as a fry cook just to get their foot in the door? Jobs were frequent, and at times brief. It's a huge achievement to still be a strong couple when your chef has multiple job offers at a time. As much as Paul was supportive, he was confident enough in himself that he could celebrate the moments when Julia was in the spotlight, and without envy.  As a couple, we should celebrate those moments together.  Julia herself admitted to keeping the passion in her marriage with her lunch time "breaks". You know what I mean. This can get put not only on the back burner but on the back of the stove, that dusty ledge where the egg timer sits. The words that ring true with me is "We are a team, we do everything together." Ah, the use of the word "we". Julia always recognized that behind a good chef there is a dedicated spouse/significant other.  In the morning they snuggled in bed together; when he was not needed he did the things he loved.  He could survive on his own, which most of us do on a daily basis.
      I have found that many chefs' relationships are private, especially celebrity chefs.  I would love to hear more about relationhips that have been successful and withstood the test of time. In restaurant years they are sometimes as short as the turn of an egg timer.  What about those of us who want theirs to withstand the time of a Rolex that's been buried in a swamp for 70 years and is still ticking when it's found. Extreme, yes I know.
     I think this is truly a question that has to be taken to the streets and will involve some interviews. Send me an email if you know someone who has been married/attached to a chef for a long time at: ninanottheship@gmail.com. In the meantime, I will be conducting extensive research.

Adult Trick or Treating or The Hierarchy of Candy

     So my children's birthdays came and went. The boys are now 3 and 6 and are they busy!! Busy is the nice word for wound like a top if you're curious. Halloween quickly approached and Gabriel wanted to be a ghost pirate (reusing his brother's Jack Sparrow costume) and Sebastian 24 hours before Halloween decided he wanted to be an Angry Bird. I used to be an anti-Angry Bird fan till I started playing it.  My chef is addicted to it and is constantly playing it. Don't get him started on Angry Bird Season's or Rio.
      So in 24 hours I made a costume for Sebastian. Trick or treating went smoothly and we had a blast. Once the kids were in bed, the war began. Luckily the boys are young enough that we can swipe candy and they don't notice, much.  It all begins with the chocolate and I don't mean all chocolate. It's the Hershey's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, Milky Ways, Twix and Kit Kats.  They are the royalty from the plastic pumpkin bucket. Then comes the commoners Milk Duds, Whoppers, Nestle Crunch, Skittles, M&M's, gum, Twizzlers and Tootsie Rolls. Then you've got the bottom of the bucket. You have no name brand lollipops. Actually, all lollipops are the lowest of the low. You'll be holding onto these till Easter.  Along with the lollipops and gum you have a lot of no name candy that you wouldn't eat when you were 7.  Every so often you may get the holy grail of Halloween candy. These rarely are found in a bucket now a days. For example, full sized candy bars, those styrafoam UFOs that remind you of the wafers at church except that they are filled with little balls of candy, Squirrel Nut Zippers are up there too, the strawberry hard candy that we pick out of the bowl at the doctor's office, and every so often you might find a fireball.
      I usually pick off all of the chocolate before Eric consumes 15 to 20 pieces in one sitting (I'm being nice). For the next few days we end up relocating the bucket a couple of times without informing the other or consolidating the two buckets into one.
       This made me stop and wonder. If adults went Trick or Treating, what would we want in our orange pumpkin bucket.....full sized candy bars, definitely peanut butter cups and I would imagine all of things we used to get in our buckets when we were little. How many of you used to get caramel popcorn balls. Yes, I was one of them. The only thing I would pawn off onto my mom were Necco wafers.  The dollar bills from grandparents never hurt either.
       At first I felt guilty eating a piece here and there when my kids did all of the collecting but, I'm saving them from quite a few tooth aches.  I'm preventing them from overloading on candy between now and Christmas when the kitchen table seems to blow up with food. For now I will sit and continue to rationalize our thieving behavior and put the bucket back on top of the fridge.

Food Storage Containers

     It's amazing how territorial we can be when it comes to our Tupperware.  Any mom can recognize a quality piece of food storage a mile away.  I'm sorry I buy the Hillshire Farm cold cuts for the container.  It's true. If I'm going to lose a container I'd rather it be the one I shelled $2.00 out for and not the $10 Tupperware container that turns colors when the food has reached the appropriate temperature. I'm not sure if they exist but I think I might Google the patent office after this post.  Containers though, have come a LONG way. I definitely have my favorites and become unreasonably irate when one is lost, broken or melted.  If it weren't for environmental issues I think I'd create a graveyard to those friends lost forever. Ahhh just like the crayola crayon maker we can invent the Tupperware Tupperware maker, you can take your old ruined friends and create new ones.
     This post is just making me look unstable.  I did the other day pick up a great little container for $4 at Marshall's. It holds a sandwich on one side then has a flap that goes over the second part for snacks and locks altogether. I begrudgingly send Gabriel to daycare with it.
     Don't become tempted by those containers that are cute and look like classic products you purchased in the past. They are the first to die.  Unfortunately if you want good food storage containers you've got to pay for quality.  If you are married to a chef you might receive food from friends in a 5-er.  Those who cook know what I'm talking about.

Where does bacon come from?

    My son, ever the curious one asked my mother the other day, "Where does bacon come from?" So she was very short, sweet and honest. Sebastian asked if they put the pig back when they were done. My mother answered no.  My son then decided he didn't want to finish his bacon, but will very happily finish his pancakes. After receiving the call from my mom letting me know about the conversation and how she handled it, I thought, "Oh boy here we go".
     After coming home I had a little conversation with Sebastian and asked him if he wasn't going to eat bacon anymore. He replied with, "Yeah I'll still eat it but just don't tell me they kill pigs because then I'll think everyone dies." Okay, fair enough for a soon to be six year old I'll leave it at that.
     That should have been the end of that but now every time we have dinner he asks what meat we are having or what animal it came from.  This weekend we will attend one of the many fairs that happen in the fall. I wonder what he will ask when we visit the livestock barns.

How Being Married to a Chef Has Changed My Life

Being married to a chef can being trying but rewarding too.  Results may vary and like the success of a past teacher you don't always see the results till years later.

1.  Your hobbies seem to produce more. I have knitted three cable knit hats in about a week.  It's that speed factor.

2. Your to-do lists resemble prep lists. Things you need to do now, things you need to pull for tomorrow (kids clothes) and the things you need to get ready for next week. I also have knit two dish washing cloths (they last longer than sponges!!)

3.  When you have guests over they seem to always have a full glass in front of them.

4. On the same vein you probably have a dishtowel tucked into your back pocket wiping end tables as you replace said drink with a full one.

5.  Your laundry can consist of one load of dishcloths. Think of all the trees you're saving.

6.  If you weren't a complete OCD neat freak you probably have started becoming one.

7.  You can look at a recipe and change it to your liking with confidence.

8.  You are no longer intimidated by the chefs on food network.

9. Your children are trained at a very young age to help prepare dinner so that you are not left to do it by yourself. They also can help clear the table at three or four years old. 

10.  Your table linen collection is the envied by all.

11.  You probably have plates for each season of the year.

12.  Your fridge rarely has nasty food in it because of "first in/first out"

13.  Your kitchen gadgets can sometimes serve as decorations too. The wooden big spoon and fork you use to serve out of the giant salad bowl. (Remember that episode from Everyone Loves Raymond when Marie took them down off the wall?! )

14.  You are the only person among your friends that owns a plug in coffee urn that hold about 5 gallons of coffee. Your friends make reservations to borrow it all the time :) (Check out All-You magazine and they will recommend that you rent it out to make a little $)

15.  You don't have to buy those expensive croutons you've been craving because you know how to make them with that leftover bagel.

16.  You always know where your Tupperware lids are because you never keep a container unless it has one.

17.  You probably own a pair or two of Danskos and would never have considered it before you married your chef. Your feet have thanked you ever since.

18.  You can push yourself beyond what you thought was your limits and realize that you can do so much more. That's a great feeling of accomplishment.

My Entree Just Crossed the Road

     It is a beautiful time of the year here in NH.  We look forward to fall just as much as we desperately wait for summer. Just because we live in NH doesn't mean we all love winter!   The trees are changing color and after a couple of so-so years this year is a good one!! The boys and I went to the Highland Games like I typed in my last blog and I had my meat pie with HP sauce and was very satisfied. Sebastian and I got into an argument that sometimes fries are called chips and that I paid 10.50 for them and he had better eat them! 10.50 was my meat pie and fries.
     Monday presented me however with another surprise. On my way to work I had to let about 27 turkeys cross the road.  Turkeys in New Hampshire have an attitude that no other foul has.  In the fall wild turkeys are everywhere. They may be in your front yard munching in your garden at 5am squawking and waking everyone up.  Many times they are crossing the road in flocks. In the fall they LOVE the plowed cornfields. 
     When I was a teenager I remember living in the studio apartment on the bottom floor of my parents house.  To throw my trash out I had to go out the sliding glass door and walk to the dumpster. The yard was lined in forest as we are also locating in the White Mountain National forest.  One particular Thanksgiving Day I remember cleaning my studio because family was coming over. On my way to throw out the trash I neglected to notice a flock of about 15 turkeys were right in front of me. They are not polite, they do not want to be pet. They stare at you daring you to just try and hurt them.  Armed with a 4 foot birch tree branch I swung my way to the dumpster and back. This is a small introduction to the New Hampshire Turkey.
    After watching these turkeys cockily cross the road, I thought to myself, that is one animal that I would not feel bad about hunting with a bow. I'm not a hunter, never have been, I fish.  Living in New Hampshire hunting is a very prevalent sport.  I had never considered it until watching my entree cross the road and remembering that I had just bought a butternut squash this past weekend and that there might be a dusty can of Ocean Spray cranberry sauce in my closet.  It's times like this that the natural hunter comes out in you. You wonder, is this what it was like for our first settlers and Native Americans? Did the turkeys taunt them or have they decided that they have as much freedom as any other animal on the hunting lottery. 
     I was contemplating this further when about another mile down the road I had to stop again for three more very fat turkeys.  Frustrated I called my husband and talked about my thoughts on bow hunting and taking out a turkey. He pointed out that he could dress it and pluck it. My motivation was killed however when I recalled how he felt the first time he gutted a fish at one of his previous jobs. Bye Bye turkey dinner.

Beware the free meal

     Ever since my chef started working at the new restaurant he has brought home something to eat for himself every night. For some reason he prefers to eat it at home when shift is done because he's an overachiever and can't stop long enough to refuel.  He complains that every time he brings something home I take a bite. How can you seriously expect me NOT to take a bite out of his food. It's the only time I get to taste his cooking aside from the one night he has energy to cook for us at home.  Needless to say I feel no guilt at all and continue to do this. Every so often he will come home and be too tired to eat what he's brought home. In my book that means it is up for grabs!!! Many times I end up bringing it to work for lunch the next day or eat it immediately.
     The problem with all of this however is that I'm doing this when he comes home late at night. As we all know we shouldn't eat too close to bed because your body stores it immediately yada yada. Yeah, I get that and probably should stop. The biggest deterrent that I have to stop eating so late are the horrible dreams. Experts aren't kidding when they say eating just before bed can affect your sleep. I have learned that I can have half a club sandwich and sleep fairly well. Nachos or buffalo tenders, forget it. I will wake up sweating dreaming that my children were eaten by sharks during an alien invasion. Reminds me of when I was pregnant.
     The other problem that I noticed is that my weight loss that was going so well over the last year stopped. I haven't started gaining yet but in looking at what I'm stealing off his plate probably isn't helping.  Fries, nachos, burger, wrap, panini. The list goes one. However this is just before a major menu change.  The selections will be far more healthy when the menu changes.  Seeing that before he started working here I rarely ate fried food I am sabotaging everything I have accomplished health-wise in the last year.
     The solutions? Here are a few.

1. Go to bed before he comes home.
2. Drink so much water that by the time he gets home I'm too full to eat.
3. Brush my teeth just before he comes home, I mean the works, pre wash, brush, mouthwash, flossing, whitening treatment so that when he comes home I don't want to ruin my teeth.
4.  Pretend my hands are broken so that I can't begin that hand to mouth action that I am an expert at.
5.  Tell myself I wasn't craving that particular thing anyway.

This is an ongoing battle I will curb one take home box at a time. Tell me if you're the spouse of a chef who's experiencing the same struggle!